it is not Thursday, May 26, 2005.

[the trick is to keep breathing]

pooh. much as I'd like to be whining about the next-in-sequence test in six months, I'll probably be whining about the same one. pooh. it's like that guy said, in that movie my wife likes. 'oh, **** , ****, ******, ****, *** **** and ****.'

but at any rate it's done, and I don't have to worry about it for a significant amount of time, and this is certainly a Good Thing™.



p.s. happy birthday, pretty lady.



it is not Thursday, May 19, 2005.

[buh bye]

I am just going out now. I may be some time.

being all graduated, I was enjoying the lack of tests. how sad. in a week we'll all know how much of an ignoramus I really am. (how equally sad.)



[the force is not with them]

last night I fell asleep with a smile on my face, because all the nerds waiting to see the new star wars movie (opened at midnight) were getting rained on. no little shower, either. I'm talking yoda-sized drops here.

there's hunger in the world, wars, hatred and deceit, a horrible amount of misunderstanding. but last night none of that mattered because all the nerds were getting wet.

NERDS thank you for bringing balance to the force.



it is not Friday, May 13, 2005.

[whither sanity?]

next time on wifeswap: we swap a wife from a family of terrestrial authoritarian yuppie democrat midget sea-traders with a wife from a family of martian libertarian redneck republican pirates with elephantitis! see the sparks fly as these two families strangle each other in a sixty-minute bloodbath! grab a double bacon cheeseburger and fries and a 64oz coke, turn off rational thought, tune in tomorrow night and decay your brain just a little more, you embarrassing overweight country of sensationalist reality tv-watching sloths!

you foolish, ridiculous people.

and while I'm on the rant about evil television: when and why did the news get so needlessly entertaining? when I take my tea in the morning I want to hear about what's going on with john bolton's nomination, iran, afghanistan, guantanamo, the u.s. overseas military base closures (which, for the record, is just about the only thing I can agree on with the u.s. military), what pope benedict xvi is up to, the local drought, the deficit, and maybe, for a sense of completeness, the price of tea in china. it doesn't have to be a feel-good experience for me. in fact it should be as cold and heartless as possible. I do not want to see pretty pictures of giant balloons and laughing children. I do not want to hear the latest gossip about what some mayor did or did not do with his secretary. I do not want to hear another damned word about michael jackson. (repeat after me: michael jackson has no bearing on our lives. none whatsoever. go on, repeat after me. say it out loud. how happy it makes you feel! how free! now say it every hour on the hour from now on. in this way you shall brighten the world with the light of reason.)

gah. my temper rises, contrary to my every hope and desire and predisposition.



I feel this post has started on the wrong foot. let me fix that:

'now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.'
-dark helmet, 'spaceballs'

I want a lightsaber.



it is not Wednesday, May 11, 2005.

[to the point]

happiness is a comfy chair after putting on well-folded clothes after a pleasant shower after an invigorating jog in the late spring sun. with dido to keep me company the whole time.

WIFE do not worry, I made her turn away whilst I was changing.



it is not Monday, May 09, 2005.

[sad days]

much as I hate to sing all the old clichés:

who heard the alarm only distantly this morning, and slept past his ideal waking time? who over-brewed the tea this morning, turning it into bitter bitter badness that even his ever-loving and -longsuffering wife couldn't choke down? who has a case of the mondays? the answers is me.

it continues. every paper cut I can remember receiving has arrived on a monday. it is a scientifically verifiable fact that, per unit of area of skin affected, a paper cut is the stupidest type of injury allowable by the laws of physics. it must be a monday. I never could get the hang of mondays.


perhaps on the bright side I have figured out what I want for my birthday.

0. 3,4,5-trimethoxyphenethylamine. no not really.
1. booba? kiki? yes yes really, but hard to find for sale. (a friend of mine experiences this. when she closes her eyes, my voice is blue, and round.) the machinations of the mind are an utter enigma.
2. some bloody answers. yes yes really but not likely on the scale I'm hoping for. do they even exist? it is an open question.


days go by and in the end no one knows where all the when went. yesterday's rain is this morning's fog; perhaps that has something to do with it.

or perhaps it's just a sodding monday.



it is not Wednesday, May 04, 2005.

[obsession]

that game that game we used to play and you always won, i can see now why you always beat me i can see the top of your head over the top of the desk shelves again and i don’t know why you hide when i get up. have i told you about my dream? forgive me but i’m

getting the poking tingling feeling again in the point at the back of my head that means either i’m seeing time and space unhindered, e-i-e-i-o, or i’ve forgotten to take my

lithium again. i don’t know how you make the phone ring so that only i can hear it but i wish you wouldn’t, you’re disturbing the

order of things round here, here, here’s tom with the weather the fallout is spreading headed west highs in the mid ten millions and, here, i’m rambling again but i digress, i have

this dream, again and again where you you’re getting into the car and i’m saying stop, stop, i don’t have i told you this before? i

don’t want to be scared anymore, my head is hurting again, i want to wake up and it’s only after i’ve thought about it a while here and only after i see and hear my mom biting her nails by the ekg machine when i realize i have



n’t slept for weeks. i don’t think i’m sleeping
well.



it is not Sunday, May 01, 2005.

[happy days]

the weekend's lan party went off super-successfully. it included such fantastic favorites as unreal tournament 2004, doom 3, and taco bell, with some live demonstrations of half-life 2 and my screensaver.

speaking of the latter, you need to try it. it's called electric sheep (some interesting information about that name awaits the careful reader) and it is a marvel of mathematics and modern networking. oh, and it's freaking gorgeous. one of my coworkers runs it on a computer he rarely uses but keeps on his desk; I'm constantly amazed that he can get any work done. if it were on my desk, I'd be watching it all day. it's almost dangerous in its seductiveness. beware.

highest praise to ian mcewan for his most recent accomplishment. it's far more accessible than the last one I read, atonement, and only slightly less beautiful, likely because it makes overt attempts at philosophy where (I think) the reader should see them between-the-lines like. still, if you can borrow it from a friend or a library or an internet, you should. you must.

my birthday is in a month and I don't know what I want. my birthday and christmas are the only two times during the year when I don't know what I want. strange, that. perhaps I don't like doing something when it's forced, even when it's to my advantage. but let's set introspection aside. the question is, what do I want? the answer is