[the best day of my day ... so far]
got a strange, heavily-stickered and -written upon package via post today:
containing:
specifically the laptop computer I had sent to a right bastard somewhere across the atlantic* after I had sold it to him on ebay for the agreed-upon price of US$750.
he wanted me to use an escrow service (escrowtm.com**, though they no longer exist so don't bother looking) that would, so he said, hold his money until he verified receipt of the computer, at which point they would send me the money. so I cheerfully sent the package off that morning. hatelife died that afternoon. I had friends over for my birthday party that evening. it was a very significant day in my life.
soon after, the guy wanted to know where his laptop was, hurry it up, give me the tracking number again, etc. fearing negative ebay feedback, I did my best to help him out.
I went about my business with only an occasional passing thought about the computer. I didn't have the money yet, but no big deal, I have bigger things to worry about. in the meantime I graduated. I said some vows in front of some people. I designed and implemented a honeymoon.
then I came back from the honeymoon. still no money, and the communication had stopped. I was flummoxed. 'hmmm,' I said. I went to the escrow site again, and lo! no website. very fishy, I concluded. I googled the website and much to my dismay discovered that it was quite fraudulent and gosh what an idiot I am. I kicked myself and wailed and gnashed teeth and carried on and thought of a way to lightly drop the news on my lawfully wedded wife. tears and sighs ensued.
I reported it to everyone I could think of (ifcc, fbi, mi6, kgb), but didn't tell anyone else. for example, you people are learning of this before my mother is. I blame embarassment. it's not every day you throw away a significant amount of value and hope to be reimbursed based on a promise and a website. seriously: two minutes' research could have prevented the whole thing.
and when nothing turned up and the usps website said the package had been delivered, I resigned myself to the whole stupid situation. if I were calvin, my dad would probably say 'losing money builds character.' and if that were the case then I've built a whole lot of character lately.
so when the postman rang the doorbell this afternoon, you might be able to better understand my happiness.
now my wife is saying that the pears in the kitchen are ripe and we must eat them immediately.
what a day.
p.s. through the magic of the internet I saw you squinting to try and see my address. foiled again, villain.
*GIORDANO BRUNO, of
93 WADDINGTON STREET
STRATFORD
LONDON
E15 1PJ (UNITED KINGDOM), YOU ARE A RIGHT BASTARD
**escrowtm.com, YOU ARE A BUNCH OF RIGHT BASTARDS
containing:
- a wireless network adapter for a laptop computer, and
- a laptop computer.
specifically the laptop computer I had sent to a right bastard somewhere across the atlantic* after I had sold it to him on ebay for the agreed-upon price of US$750.
he wanted me to use an escrow service (escrowtm.com**, though they no longer exist so don't bother looking) that would, so he said, hold his money until he verified receipt of the computer, at which point they would send me the money. so I cheerfully sent the package off that morning. hatelife died that afternoon. I had friends over for my birthday party that evening. it was a very significant day in my life.
soon after, the guy wanted to know where his laptop was, hurry it up, give me the tracking number again, etc. fearing negative ebay feedback, I did my best to help him out.
I went about my business with only an occasional passing thought about the computer. I didn't have the money yet, but no big deal, I have bigger things to worry about. in the meantime I graduated. I said some vows in front of some people. I designed and implemented a honeymoon.
then I came back from the honeymoon. still no money, and the communication had stopped. I was flummoxed. 'hmmm,' I said. I went to the escrow site again, and lo! no website. very fishy, I concluded. I googled the website and much to my dismay discovered that it was quite fraudulent and gosh what an idiot I am. I kicked myself and wailed and gnashed teeth and carried on and thought of a way to lightly drop the news on my lawfully wedded wife. tears and sighs ensued.
I reported it to everyone I could think of (ifcc, fbi, mi6, kgb), but didn't tell anyone else. for example, you people are learning of this before my mother is. I blame embarassment. it's not every day you throw away a significant amount of value and hope to be reimbursed based on a promise and a website. seriously: two minutes' research could have prevented the whole thing.
and when nothing turned up and the usps website said the package had been delivered, I resigned myself to the whole stupid situation. if I were calvin, my dad would probably say 'losing money builds character.' and if that were the case then I've built a whole lot of character lately.
so when the postman rang the doorbell this afternoon, you might be able to better understand my happiness.
now my wife is saying that the pears in the kitchen are ripe and we must eat them immediately.
what a day.
p.s. through the magic of the internet I saw you squinting to try and see my address. foiled again, villain.
*GIORDANO BRUNO, of
93 WADDINGTON STREET
STRATFORD
LONDON
E15 1PJ (UNITED KINGDOM), YOU ARE A RIGHT BASTARD
**escrowtm.com, YOU ARE A BUNCH OF RIGHT BASTARDS
3 very splendid and worthwhile comment(s):
it is incredible that the package came back. you are a very lucky boy. did you see the link i posted in my livejournal about the same scam?
My roommates dad was selling a car online and someone tried to pull the nigerian scam on them - (where they send you a bad check for over the amount due and then they demand you send them back the extra money before the check clears). They were so excited that the car was getting sold. They didn't believe me when I told them it was a scam. The guy called them repeatedly demanding the extra money be sent back to him. Luckily they waited for the check to NOT clear and reported it to the FBI.
There's a site where a lady sells horses and then screws with these scammers and posts the emails, but I can't seem to find it.
lelia: yes, I read that post. so clever I almost cried when I read it. too bad I didn't catch my own scam in time. I mean, that could have been me. I could have had some good mean fun with the guy.
and yes, I'm a very lucky boy. I have no idea how it happened. I certainly don't deserve it, that's for sure.
ghengis: that was me. curse you for thwarting my efforts! we nigerians have it rough, you know.
do not post a comment (or not).
do not go home (the grass is always greener).