it is not Tuesday, February 22, 2005.

[visibleman needs your help]

Chelsey and I are going to get our own domain soon. I need your help in picking a name. (hmm. other members of our family are busy naming children instead; lucky us.)

if you think of something that fits, go to whois.net and see if it's available (I'm partial to one-word domains followed by dot-net). I'm extremely open to suggestions, as all my first choices are taken. anyway. drop me a line.

hopefully she and I won't kill each other over something so inane.



[my 72-hour nerd binge]

on a lighter note. here are some juicy tidbits that might not be tasty to anyone, but they certainly are to me.


0. I literally wasted my sunday trying to get a) the internet, b) my cable modem, and c) my router to speak the same language. I did everything I knew how to do, and then I did everything I didn't know how to do, and nothing worked for eight hours. in the end I have no idea what I did but now it works, both flawlessly and inexplicably. I hate and love that.


1. you can now play my music! well, you won't be able to hear it, but I'll be able to, and you get to control it through the magic of the webternet.

this will only occasionally work: in your browser of choice type 68 (dot) 185 (dot) 59 (dot) 147 (colon) 1984. if nothing happens it's because I don't have winamp running, which means I'm in bed (which is a rare (and at very least a horribly unpredictable) thing). unadulterated webternet magic by wwwinamp.


2a. WASTE_PUBLIC_KEY 20 2048 antimatt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WASTE_PUBLIC_KEY_END

2b. refer to above spamproof ip address. the one with all the dots.


3. FreeMind is quite probably the neatest piece of software I have ever seen. it is potentially infinite; my fingertips tingle with delight/nerve damage. I hope soon to be able to let you in on some of the things I've done so far. oh what a juicy tidbit. best for last. (java required.)



cheers, luddites.



it is not Thursday, February 17, 2005.

[defining moments]

now:
so far as I know, no one has heard from Tim or Katie (the A student will recall them) in weeks. I haven't heard from them in months. in the past this has meant they're doing fine and history is known for repeating itself, so I'm not certain whether this is discouraging.

Tim, if by some miracle you're reading this, please write. I worry about you on nights like tonight, out there in the big dark (figurative/literal) jungle.


then:
today marks three years since Nathan died.

I miss my friend. his number is still stored in my phone's memory. I kept at least five programs from his funeral, among other things. I have visited the spot on the road many times--many times without letting anyone know where I was going. I cry and drink in cycles (occasionally vicious). I write awful poems that are meaningless to everyone but me. I vent and vent and vent and I want to move on, but how can I when the dreams are so clear and so often?

Nathan, there is so much I never told you. I'm married; you met her and I told you how I felt about her and in my head you gave me a friend's blessing. I'm still borrowing your movie and I can't watch it without thinking of you. I never forgave you for putting the moves on my sister third grade through twelfth, but I have now. I enjoyed the summers driving to town in your filthy stinking truck listening to your awful music more than anything else in all the rest of those years. thank you for all the wonderful barbecuing but next time please clean up after yourself and do laundry while you're at it. I have always been jealous of your ability to grow facial hair. it's because you're a nice guy that she cheated on you.

I'm doing fine but at the same time not. life has been hard since you died, but the introspection you have since lent me has taught me a great many things about myself, happiness and friendship, life in general. it's been tough but it's been worth it.

I believe in alternate universes, so in some ways it hasn't been so hard. unfortunately I'm stuck in this one.

yokwe, Big Nate. amo te.


(for once, I'm genuinely dry-eyed; I think this would make you happy)



it is not Tuesday, February 15, 2005.

[you are not your pile of junk]

we've completely moved. (but we have yet to finish moving in.)

every part of me is sore, I can't find anything I need, I didn't sleep well last night and niether did she, I'm not feeling well owing to having eaten only fast food and reconstituted pizza for the last week, my router ist kaput and I haven't yet explored all the ramifications of this, my fingers are rubbed raw from moving sandpaper-covered cardboard boxes from here to there and back again, and there was no room for the old couch in the new place.

but now I get to reorganize my entire collection of needless worldly goods. so it all works out in the end.


THOM YORKE please sing louder, the neighbors are pounding on the wall so clearly they cannot hear you well enough.



it is not Friday, February 11, 2005.

[an imperial pint of]

jeepers. I finished 'cryptonomicon' last night, at long last.

BEST
BOOK
EVER.

I'm never going to take it off the reading list in the sidebar because I'm never going to quit reading it.

that is all. move along--nothing to see here.



it is not Wednesday, February 09, 2005.

[no common thread]

or on formally undecidable propositions of blogger and related systems
or meaningless symbols acquire meaning despite themselves
or I am you and what I see is me
or quining and whining
or open other end
or [alt+255]


again, sorry it's been a while. not that you care. it's healthy that you don't.

it is telling when the emails I write myself to remind me of thus-and-such give me ads for 1) nonlinear regression software, 2) air filtration, 3) cutlery. discuss.


we're moving! (the A student will note that I've just used the exclamation mark; this is the most concise commentary possible on precisely how I feel about the subject.) finally we'll have a place with a room able to hold our massive california king bed, which is currently flying in a holding pattern, fittingly, in california. anyway. it follows that we'll be gradually transplanting our junk over the course of the next week or so. long ago we both arranged to take valentine's day off but now I suppose we'll use it for different reasons, SINGLE SIBLING unread this sentence immediately.


ceci n'est pas une list.
0. 'is a sentence fragment' is a sentence fragment. / ''is a sentence' is a sentence' is a sentence.
1. 'yields falsehood when quined' yields falsehood when quined.
2. 'est une expression qui, quand elle est precedee de sa traduction, mise entre guillemets, dans la langue provenant de l'autre cote te la manche, cree une faussete' is an expression which, when it is preceded by its translation, placed in quotation marks, into the language preceding on the other side of the channel, yields a falsehood.'
3. there do not exist numbers a and a' such that both (1) they form a tnt-proof-pair, and (2) a' is the arithmoquinification of u.
4. the sentence 'the sentence 'the sentence '...' is infinitely long' is infinitely long' is infinitely long.

apologies to douglas hofstadter for his beautiful book. beautiful in the sense that, in a certain doubleplus ungood way, global thermonuclear war would be beautiful.



recently I discovered something about myself. I discovered this thing last friday as I sat in the passenger seat speaking (cellularly) to my mum whilst the driver backed onto a relatively crowded street with a parked car trying to turn into the space we were at that moment efforting to occupy. as this occurred, my mother's voice faded into utter gibberish, and I felt the fingers of vertigo squeezing my brain just behind the eyeballs. the thing that I discovered about myself was this: I cannot simultaneously process information of bodily motion and information of sound. there is no good explanation for this but it's consistent with other phenomena I've noticed, i.e. when driving in strong wind I must have all sources of music off. maybe it's a problem of bandwidth, which I hope is the case as I'm planning on someday updating my brain's software to GreyMatter 2.0 (Executive Limited Platinum Professional Edition) in which the bandwidth and other embarrassing problems (pointless efficiency-killing headaches, selective memory, ocd, social awkwardness, need for computer games) are solved.


someone had better tell my pineal gland that he better start showing up to work on time or he'll get sacked, and soon. well I probably shouldn't sack him but he isn't exactly up for any sort of promotion. if you know what I mean.


the simultaneous robustness and fragility of life astounds me. check that: life astounds me. there is, quite honestly, nothing like it anywhere on earth.



p.s. does not contain an implementation of the lzw algorithm.